Pride Uniform

~ Old Lurker

I have skipped Lurkville Pride the past couple of years. But like a fool, I wandered through the celebrations again. That feeling of alienation I complained about has just intensified. Plus there were crowds, and few people were wearing masks and I am a scaredy-cat who does not feel comfortable in crowds even outdoors, so I skedaddled away right quick.

It was just as well. I felt out of place and I looked out of place. Nobody wants the Poors crashing their parties, and I was underdressed. I did not have a T-shirt with a clever slogan. I was not festooned in rainbow accessories — not even a cheap rainbow lei. The latest trend appears to be people wearing their flags as capes (I suppose these people never watched The Incredibles?). Thanks to a meme Sassybear posted I took a quick crash course on pride flags, so I was able to recognise some of the memberships. There were lots of trans flags, of course, but also lots of nonbinary and a surprising number of ace flags too. I did not wear a flag — it is not as if grouchy old incels get a flag (or do they?) — and I doubt I would have been welcomed into the Big Gay Tent if I had.

If nothing else, my wander through Lurkville Pride taught me something: there is a uniform one wears during Pride, and it is a social faux pas not to wear it. I don’t even own rainbow pasties, never mind a full outfit. That’s my fault, of course, and even as a Poor I have enough disposable income to address this. It is also clear that this is some kind of internalized homophobia (“Why does everybody have to be so flamboyant?? Can’t we just be normal?” as if I am in any way normal), and I am already a spectacle in other ways, so doffing rainbow gear and looking even more ridiculous should be no issue. The question is whether I want to bother, and the answer is probably negative. If I want to participate in social gatherings I have to follow social norms, and if I am not willing to do that then I have to stop bellyaching.

Published by Old Lurker

I am old and I lurk.

21 thoughts on “Pride Uniform”

  1. Back in the mists of time (i.e. Winnipeg 30 years ago), the Pride Committee would sell a special Pride t-shirt every June to help fundraise for the Pride March and festivities. Often there was a contest held to design that year’s tee. Everyone who was out enough to be at the March would buy one, so yes we all wore the “same uniform” that day! Some of those t-shirts became quite the collectors items. I would accessorize mine with the other de rigueur Pride fashion must-have of those times — a whistle on a lanyard for maximum noise and volume while marching. ***sigh*** Those were the days alright. Now I’m overcome with nostalgia.

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    1. Did you keep any of the T-shirts? I hope you did not Marie Kondo them all? You might wear one to Edmonton Pride this year. At the very least you can get a whistle and a rainbow lanyard.

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        1. Oh that’s too bad. I guess you’ll have to revert to the old reliable biker leathers, then.

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  2. Oh, Lurkie.
    I don’t do Pride regalia either. The most I’ve done is wear a Tom of Finland t-shirt, but yet again, I wear my Tom of Finland t-shirts to go to Trader Joe’s so there’s no big difference. I went to Milwaukee pride this year and I also noticed the queerlings wrapped up in their flags. Actually, I was going to write about that next week (I’ll probably quote you).
    We were amazed at the variety of expressions. Bi, Ace, Trans. And now I want a very gay, very rainbow-y thing to wear next week to Chicago Pride. I blame you.
    And you are correct: Edna says no capes!!!

    XOXO

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    1. Regalia is an excellent word.

      In addition to Tom of Finland, don’t you have a ton of sassy T-shirts?

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  3. Here’s how I look at it. Gay people come in all shapes and sizes. Some (like me) are introverts and some are extroverts. I do not like being the center of attention, and I would never wear some of the stuff that people wear at pride parades, though I think it is great that they do that as they are comfortable in who they are and not afraid to stand out. It’s just not for me, nor who I am.

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    1. I imagine having Other Michael by your side is regalia enough. But there is a spectrum here. Not many people go full assless chaps, but most people wear something that is gay-themed when they go out to Pride.

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        1. That is not to say you couldn’t pull off a pair of assless chaps if you were so inclined. All that running surely has paid off.

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  4. pishposh I say. you need to practice the art of not giving a f-ck when you go out and be who you are – and that includes alleged all are welcome pride parades. Next time your inner-nasty tells you you are not worthy etc. imagine putting a cream pie in its puss and go forward. F-ck them all.

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    1. Be who I am? Heaven forfend. People barely tolerate me as-is.

      I used to be quite skilled at not giving a f-ck back when I was more oblivious. A lot of people got hurt along the way.

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  5. Well, I mean it is a pride celebration, so I suppose most people want to dress up in colors and costumes, just as one might for a wedding or Halloween party. But that doesn’t mean one MUST do so. “All are welcome” is (or should be) the atmosphere. After all, isn’t that the ultimate point of it all? You go on being your old plain clothed, grumpy, incel, lurking, gay self, and be as express-less and un-costumed as you want. Ain’t no one’s bizness but ya own!

    Sassybear
    https://idleeyesandadormy.com/

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    1. Well, there are limits. If I show up in my Doc Martins with a confederate flag T-shirt and my MAGA cap, I will likely make other people feel unsafe even if that is not my intention. In many ways I don’t care about my appearance, but I try to be conscious of the ways in which it negatively affects others.

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  6. I’m not wearing anything pride themed to our Parade on Sunday. There will be plenty of other attendees who will look like a pride flag exploded over their head.

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  7. I’ve never been to a Pride celebration (so you’re ahead of me on that one) and nor do I have any hang ups about having never been. I guess you’re either into that kind of thing or not. Think of it as – “not done that, not got the t-shirt”.
    JP

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    1. Well I imagine they must be difficult to find where you live.

      I don’t know. In so many coming-out stories, “My first time at Pride” is some kind of transcendent experience. It has never been such for me. Perhaps the closest was when I accidentally attended Lurkopolis Pride in 2019, but even then I felt like Margaret Mead among the Bantus, not a member of any community.

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