This entry isn’t really about sex, and thus does not belong on this blog, but since it concerns this corner of the blogosphere here we go. It does involve me being intrinsically disordered though, so maybe it is not completely out of place.
As I have declared several times before, I am a Poor. This has a lot to do with my employment status, or lack thereof. Thus far this year I have had paid work for a grand total of two (2) days, which is not exactly paying the bills.
In addition to being frequently unemployed, I am fairly unemployable. It is not difficult to see why this might be the case, especially for those of you on whose blogs I leave comments. Up to now I have bounced around and made enough money to keep going. But those gravy days have come to an end, and now I either have to find something that can pay the bills in these inflationary times or I have to make plans for when my savings run out.
Here’s the problem: working seems awful, and as the months drag on I feel less and less able to tolerate it. In addition to my own basket of mental barriers and brokenness around this issue, you folks are not helping. I have been observing how the residents of this corner of the blogosphere like their jobs, and it is disheartening.
I can think of two bloggers who currently enjoy their work: John Michael (who recently started a new position) and Maddie (ditto). CB also started a new job but I don’t know whether he likes it. Maybe Dr Spo tolerates his job, but he is upset that he will never be able to retire.
The rest of you? Many of you (Travel Penguin, Sassybear, Michael54) are explicitly counting the days until you retire. Several others (Jennifer from Sparrow Tree Journal, Robzilla, Jon from Delargo Towers) seem trapped and unhappy in jobs or job environments they dislike. John Gray is planning to leave hospice work and retrain as a counsellor. A few of you don’t talk about your jobs much, but when you do it is usually in the context of stress and drama. I do not know how Blobby feels about his job in general, but the last few months have seemed rough for him.
Then of course there are the retired people, who uniformly LOOOOOVE being retired. They get to take art classes and travel and observe the buskers trying to scratch out a living on the streets below them. That’s fine, I guess: they worked hard and put in their time, and now they get their reward. Being a Poor, retirement is not in the cards for me, unless you consider being unemployed for months on end a form of retirement. But it is clear to me that none of the retired would go back to work unless they were forced to.
I mean, it is not as if anybody is explicitly telling me that working for a living is awful and that I should just give up and become homeless. My unwillingness or inability to get work is squarely on my shoulders, and should not be influenced by what I read in other people’s blogs. But it certainly feels hopeless more days than not.