Lurkopolis Pride

As previously threatened I did end up going out of town, and it did coincide with Lurkopolis Pride. Attending Pride had not been the focus of the trip, but I interacted with the festival in two ways.

First, I inadvertently ran into the Dyke March. I was trying to get to downtown Lurkopolis, and the road got very busy very quickly. What could I do? I stopped and watched the march. First there were scary dykes on motorcycles, and then there were scarier dykes on bicycles, and then there were some marchers advocating assorted left-wing and sex-radical causes. I have never been much of a parade person, but this march felt different from a typical parade. Maybe it is the war drumming that changes the tone? Certainly the march seemed to be as much a political demonstration as a celebration.

Secondly, I later spent a couple of hours intentionally wandering through the festivities. It was busy! Also corporate, and you know my feelings about that. I saw a lot of ridiculous faux-allyship from assorted brands, but the one that sticks out in my mind was a misappropriation of Froot Loops to somehow become a sugar-laden artificially-colored gay symbol.

Mostly I wandered through the boothing area. Again, there were lots of corporations hawking their wares, but there were more grassroots groups as well. I was interested to see that members of my ethnic background (which is not exactly known for being queer-positive) were attempting to put together a support group. More power to them, I guess.

The nudists were also out, which was moderately jarring (the nudists tend to stay under cover during Lurkville pride) but overall it was fine. I attempted not to gawk (after all, nudism is about freedom and body acceptance, not sex), but I will note that a couple of the participants could have been straight out of that line drawing of secondary sex characteristics, except for the cockrings. It did occur to me that this was the first time in over fifteen years that I had seen another adult’s genitals in the flesh. Having seen educational materials on the Internet, I knew what adult genitals looked like, so maybe it should not be surprising that naked grownups turned out to be no big deal? Later that afternoon I saw a bearish couple get out of an Uber, and honestly that was more titillating. (One of the fellows was wearing tight, shiny booty shorts.)

There was one group that was desperately and loudly trying to raise funds for gay refugees. They probably harshed a few people’s mellows, but it was probably good that they were there. There are many places in the world where corporations refuse to associate their toucan mascots with queerness.

I saw some good T-shirt slogans over the weekend, but oddly enough few of them were at the Pride festival itself. Somebody at the festival was wearing a “More Fats, More Femmes” T-shirt that was endearing, but it was not until I was in the suburbs that I saw a fellow wearing a shirt that read “PWR BTTM”. I also saw a jogger wearing an “Anti Running Running Club” shirt that I thought was cute.

As I was heading out of Lurkopolis I saw some of the parade floats being trucked in for the parade. Boy howdy am I glad I got out of town in time.

Was it worth taking time during my Lurkopolis trip to attend Pride? I guess? I had never been to a big-city Pride before. Now I have attended once, so I can say that I have done it. Having said that, the trip would have been worthwhile if I had missed Pride completely.

Mostly I felt out of place. I was not festooned in rainbows, which probably hurt. Despite all of the community groups on display, I did not feel there is a place for people like me. I have little reason to feel much pride in anything I have done, especially on the LGBTQ+ front. Much of the time I feel the queer community would be better off without me, and attending Lurkopolis Pride did little to dissuade those feelings.

18 thoughts on “Lurkopolis Pride

  1. Well.. ah ha! You do understand feeling like you don’t belong at a gay pride parade. Lurky the truth is I missed you when you disappeared from the internet for a while, I was actually really ticked with you for not saying goodbye or see you later. Anyway I still say you are a pain in the butt; however you certainly belong in this gay blogosphere and I would notice you missing if you left again.

    Now for something lighter, I remember the first float I saw at my first pride parade. It was a float of topless lesbians, now I don’t mind looking at topless women and I’m certainly not judging (much) but the women looked like Rosanne Barr, Rosie O’Donnell and biker chicks type of women… and bigger. Think about it, a float of tough looking women, topless, hands up in the air, bouncing up and down, up and down to pumping dance music, anyway our healthcare system paid for my following therapy and I should be better soon. : )


    1. I expect you will be really ticked with me again, because I am liable to disappear at any moment now. Hopefully next time it will be permanent.

      Lucky you to get therapy coverage. There is no therapy coverage for me, and the consequences are predictable.


      1. Well, that reply was a bit unsettling. It’s hard for me to say anything more because you’re a clever man and probably would be annoyed with anything cliche that I would say like, “tomorrow is another day” blah, blah, blah. I understand what made you say this and I don’t know what to say back that would be helpful… but just to let you know I felt that reply.


  2. Well I for one am glad you went. At least if gives you a change of pace and you got to see some human man sexparts!!! Now if youd taken Steven, you both could have had an experience and tried on and bought cockrings together, then went to a street dance.


    1. You are the one who planning to marry the guy. I think you should book a trip to Ottawa at the end of August to make sure he attends Pride this year. He has a spare room on his farm if you need a place to stay.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. We will make it a date. We will all go! That should be film worthy alone. But since he hates the getting dark early and cold and snow, I’ll bring him back with me for the winter. Do you think he’ll go for that? I hope you are having a good as can weekend.


      1. I don’t think he would agree to be a houseboy for the winter — he has to stay close to his mom. But I do seriously think you (or somebody) should go down to Ottawa Pride to keep Steven company. Otherwise he will find some excuse to skip out.

        Unfortunately I do not think that person will be me. I realized this week that I am not going to make rent this year unless I scrimp and/or get someadditional income.


  3. Ok, so I need the ‘more fats, more femmes’ T-shirt STAT. Really.
    And I’m glad that Pride happened upon you. For what I’ve been able to glean, that’s one of the only ways that you’re gonna partake of those festivities.
    I agree with the overall syrupy pandering of many corporations. Pride should be all year ling, damnit!
    And I have not seen nudity during pride. And I’m in Chicago, mind you. Tons of leather and kink but no naked men. I find leather and kink more titillating, like you. I saw a beautiful, over six feet tall, burly man in yellow spandex shorts, boots and a white T-shirt on the train on my way to Pride and he was hotter than all the half naked gogo boys on the floats..



    1. Yes, I thought you would appreciate that shirt.

      I am somewhat surprised at the lack of nudity in Chicago. Isn’t Chicago home to the International Mr Leather competition?

      I was going to protest that no no I actually volunteer with the Lurkville LGBTQ+ centre, but on second thought you’re right; I don’t get out to much. I am a disappointment to my sexuality in every way.


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