The Last Straw

That’s it. I’m done. It’s time to tear up my gay card, return the toaster oven, cancel the monthly subscription of Homosexual Lifestyle magazine, purge my appointments from the Gay Agenda. My status as a homosexual (never mind a practicing homosexual) has always been tenuous, and it is time to throw in the towel. I don’t want to be in this club any more.

You see, I was innocently researching the Internet for information about Three’s Company when I ran across this bulletin board thread (which is pretty NSFW if you click any of the outgoing links):

https://www.datalounge.com/thread/22296869-millennial-guys-barebacking

To spare you the trauma of reading the thread, let me summarize: a bunch of gays are asserting that barebacking is now the norm in hookup culture, because we have PrEP now and who cares about the other diseases? Apparently, guys who refuse to bareback get a lot fewer hookups. Welcome to our post-AIDS world.

Stop the train. I’m getting off (and I never asked to be on this ride anyways). I mean: what the hell? Is this what poor Steven has to deal with in finding Grindr hookups? I had presumed John Gray was just being prudish when he expressed reservations about PrEP, but nope: the Stupidest Timeline has come to pass. Or maybe I am just a bitter old queen, spouting my bigoted sex-negative views like your racist aunt during Thanksgiving dinner. It’s difficult to tell sometimes.

Some of the commenters in that thread must also be bitter old queens, because at least a few of them echoed the horror of the 1980s, and a few smart gays pointed out that not that many people actually are on PReP, so some of the guys who claim they are must be lying. That makes me feel worse, not better.

I have complained about being defined by HIV a bunch on this blog, and I guess this is more evidence of that. I came of age at the wrong time, when having sex with anyone even once was inviting a death sentence. Had I come of age twenty years earlier or twenty years later probably I would be barebacking too. But I didn’t, and I am not, so goodbye homosexuality and good riddance. I’ll take those anti-gay pills. I’ll do seances to get therapy from the ghost of Joseph Nicolosi. I’ll learn to appreciate sportsball and learn to speak in monosyllabic grunts. I have no desire to be straight, but at least the straights don’t have to deal with this nonsense, and the asexuals don’t want me in their club. Alternatively, maybe it is time to enroll in a Catholic seminary. They don’t need to worry about this nonsense either.

Edit: “Weekend PrEP”?! Aaaaah! AAAAAAH! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Are you people not familiar with evolutionary pressures!? I recognise that HIV is a virus, but have you never heard of antibiotic resistance??? Aaaaaaah!!!

10 thoughts on “The Last Straw

  1. Yes, it seems incomprehensible to those of us who are a certain age, doesn’t it, this deliberately reckless courting of HIV and other STIs. But remember that the gay world is rife with booze and drugs, too, which is never the best environment for good decision-making. And alas, Old Lurker, turning het is not going to help you because apparently the group with the fastest rising rate of STIs is aging straight boomers.

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    1. If the straights don’t take me in then where will I go?

      I am saddened but not surprised that STI rates are rising for aging straight boomers. Aging straight boomers are kind of hot.

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  2. We never claimed all the gay queens were the smartest. What a bunch of dumb ashes. Not to be blunt, but I barely enjoy anal safe….and could just as easily live without it.

    This must be the gay equlivent to straight risk takers and dare devils. Their nuts and tempting trouble.

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    1. I don’t know. The ones defending PrEP made some points that are somewhat convincing. For one thing: most of these STIs are transmitted orally as well, and the anti-PrEPpers have no reason to feel smug.

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    1. Would that it were only millennials but sadly it would appear to be anyone who has decided they don’t want to be “bothered” with protection or safe-sex.

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  3. Look at the ads for various drugs in gay publications: you can have a ripped body, even tan, sparkling white teeth, great hair, endless hook-ups and AIDS! But it’s not just gays dear Lurker – I once had to have a heart to heart with my straight boss about why as a recently divorced man on the meat market he had to use protection and how to work using a condom into the whole process without “breaking the mood”.

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    1. You did a good deed in educating your boss. Who knows the things he wasn’t taught during his middle-school sex ed curriculum.

      When you and Laurent host dungeon play parties I hope you insist that all guests wear suitable protection.

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