Coward

I have a choice to make. Next week is National Coming Out Day, and I have to decide whether to come out to coworkers and clients in my new (temporary, precarious) job.

I had a bad week at the job last week. People are sick and tired of me already. I have already said a bunch of things I would have been better off keeping to myself. So I think I am keeping my mouth shut and trying to repair some of the damage I have done up to this point.

I am somewhat angry at myself for making this decision, but I ought to be angrier at myself for messing up at work beforehand. I can try to pretend that everybody knows I am a queer already (as I have written before, I don’t exactly pass) but if I know one thing about straight people it is that they can be pretty oblivious to obvious things. So even though it ought to be apparent that I am a sexual deviant, I bet it isn’t. Therefore, the next time things go terribly for LGBTQ people in the world, you can blame me. It is my fault for not participating in National Coming Out Day.

I hope this ex-gay stuff starts working soon so I don’t have to deal with these kinds of quandaries anymore.

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10 thoughts on “Coward

  1. Philly is having there Outfest today. I always go since it’s a pretty fun event and the streets are packed. I won’t stay too long as the crowd gets to be too much for me, but one can catch some very nice assets on many of the men, if anything else. And worry not but coming out. It will lend itself if it needs too. How did you put your foot into your mouth? Are you sure you did?

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    1. Yes, I very much put my foot in my mouth. Also my productivity has not been good. I am certainly not a shining beacon of respectability right now, so why tarnish the image of highly-competent gay people by admitting anything?

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  2. I wouldn’t be telling work anything personal that could impact detrimentally on the way you are treated – unless you are up for the challenge. Things like family of origin details, mental health issues, membership of the Illuminati, sexuality – none of their business, especially if they are going to judge you harshly for it. I am a great believer of choosing which battles to fight and when. Be kind to yourself.

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    1. I half-wish there was a mental health coming out day. Already I am basically unemployable because of my mental health. That affects my job much more than my sexuality.

      Of course, we are now in an awful trend where the actions of people in their personal lives is used to justify them getting fired from their jobs.

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  3. I’m going to go with what Kato said, work and personal life should be kept separate, you don’t need to tell them anything you don’t want to. The gay community will survive it.

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    1. Here’s the thing: the world is much safer for me as a sexual deviant because other members of the LGBTQ community came out and were visible. They had a lot more to lose than I do. Yet I am shirking this responsibility.

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  4. I only ever confide in people who mean something to me. Just my view.
    Today I was walking down the street and two women were walking towards me holding hands. They were clearly partners. Not one person blinked or turned a head. That’s London for you. Everyone is different and does or doesn’t want to make a statement. Don’t do anything that doesn’t feel right.
    JP

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