Alone Forever

This is another mopey post. Sorry. I will try not to make it a habit.

So I went to the Lurkville Pride music festival/day in the park for a few hours. The day was nice. Some of the music was okay. There was a talented three piece band that got little applause, and (once again) I chickened out by not dancing or whooping in appreciation.

I visited some of the booths and talked to some people I knew. Other than that I sat on the lawn alone. Some people I knew walked by and I waved at them, and they ignored me.

That’s not the point. The point is that if I want to find someone cute with a leg cramp, then these are the kinds of events to do so. There were some cute people at the festival. Some of them were even sitting alone. I did not introduce myself to any of them. Why would they want to associate with me?

If I sit alone on the lawn and do not reach out, I cannot expect to meet others. I will spend the rest of my life alone. Intellectually, I know that’s okay. Despite what I write here, emotionally it is okay as well. But at the local Pride festival, feeling isolated even as I am surrounded by LGBTQ people, it felt less okay.

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7 thoughts on “Alone Forever

  1. I used to be very shy and wouldn’t talk for sometime, or even make the first move, even as social as I am. But one day I though I just have to bite the bullet and make the first move, now If I’m interested, Ill talk to anyone. I now have a nice little group I call the clan. I get my talking skills form my grandmother I believe.

    On a side note, once I got to know my friends more than half said they would see me, but found me intimating to approach. Shocked me. So if you carry yourself a certain way maybe your intimidating people, or your just to good looking.

    Don’t give up!

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    1. I certainly don’t have to worry about being too good looking. I am probably intimidating in other ways, however.

      I am glad you broke through your shyness. It has been a lifelong struggle for me, and I doubt it is going to change. But it is irritating.

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  2. I can relate to your post. I’ll probably be alone the rest of my life too. But you never know who you’ll meet. I plan to enjoy life and see what a happens along the way.

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  3. I can relate to your post as well. I am guessing that I will be living the rest of my life alone too. But when I weigh alone vs living with my ex-wife, alone seems a-ok. And…one never knows what is around the corner.

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    1. Did you ever follow Buddy Bear’s blog? (http://onestepatatime92.blogspot.ca) He is finished with blogging now, but in several ways his story is reminscent of yours (and his is not the only one). He found himself a boyfriend (and thus stopped blogging) so there is hope for you too. But I imagine that getting through the divorce is the current hurdle.

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      1. I did follow his blog when I first began this one. He and I exchanged a few emails too. Yes my hurdle now is surviving this and then once this is over I will be able to look at the next chapter. I have never been one to write two chapters at once!

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