Well, it’s Day 3 and already I am dismayed. Nobody knows I am blogging, and so nobody is reading this blog. Changing this would require self-promotion. These subtle hints (changing the website field on my commenting identity, following other blogs in WordPress even though I already read them via RSS) are not working so far.
Self-promotion makes me want to vomit. But writing yet another blog nobody is going to read makes me feel despondent. Really this blog is trying to be an antidote to the overwhelming isolation I feel most days. That is a stupid reason to blog, because if others do not offer me their attention then I feel as if I have wasted my time.
On the other hand, some part of me does not want readers. Most of me cringes at the idea that any of my posts “go viral”. That would attract a lot of unkind opinionated strangers, which is exactly what I don’t need. But having any readers at all brings its own burdens. Dealing with other human beings at all brings burdens, which might be one explanation for the overwhelming isolation.
Maybe there is some clever way I can promote this blog and build a small readership. I do not really know how WordPress works well enough to know whether I can do this without being obnoxious. I suspect I cannot. At the end of the day promotion always requires intruding into the personal spaces of others. If you cannot grab other people’s attention, you can’t get your message out.
I keep comparing my readership goals to the celebrity blogs in this corner of the internet. But most of us do not develop the loyal followings of Spo-reflections or Going Gently . Most of us sit way out on the long tail, earning one or two loyal readers and writing post after post with no comments. That has always been my fate on the Internet and I expect it will be no different this time.